belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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