I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just sent this text using only my big toe
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
