I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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