I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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