I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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