Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
