Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize