I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
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Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize