it's like iHOP with fire
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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