He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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