Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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