One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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