is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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