he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize