I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
