K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
