Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize