I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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