She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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