Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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