More tranny stories later!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
