Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
