how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
