This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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