For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
