Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
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we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.