I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
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Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.