I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
