He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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