White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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