the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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