So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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