Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
