On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize