At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
