toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's blow job season.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
