I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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