So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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