nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize