Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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