He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
