It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
