just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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