Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
