Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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