my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
