hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
