How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
