that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
