How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the condom got lost in my hair
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
