I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
