wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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