Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
