If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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