She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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