why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
