the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
