I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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