that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
