I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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