His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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