oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
