he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
