I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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