You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
