By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
