i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
