dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
